LIFE LESSONS FROM SURFING
It was a Thursday night, and I crawled into bed early to catch up on a missed call. The kids were busy with homework, and Clint was watching The Umbrella Academy next to me. I was happy to have my noise-cancelling headphones on and be in my own little world for a few minutes.
Someone on the call shared a Youtube channel, and you know how that goes. Once I clicked into Youtube, I was served a handful of my not-so-secret pass time: surf videos. As I scrolled to see what was new and hovered over John Florence’s CT Tour-winning heat, Clint paused and tapped me on the arm.
“Have you ever thought about why you like to watch surfing so much?” he asked.
To be fair, I have loved all things Hawaiian since I was in elementary school. The whole idea of Hawaii fascinated me. I married a man born and raised on Oahu who grew up surfing the North Shore, so I don't think my love for surfing and the lifestyle that goes along with it is completely unexpected.
I answered him, “I have some ideas.”
“No, really think about it,” he replied.
Beyond the obvious entertainment value (surfers are generally quick-witted and funny), I had always figured it was the culture. What else could he be thinking? In the few weeks since Clint posed this question, I have thought about athleticism, grit, and quick thinking, because all of those qualities are critical in surfing. All appealed to my competitive nature. But they didn’t seem to address Clint’s rhetorical question. Why DO I love to watch surfing so much?
Then, yesterday, I heard someone (completely unrelated to surfing) say, “I don’t like to fail. I avoid it at all costs.” I smiled and nodded, but inside, this shocked me. I was taken aback at this somewhat successful person discussing what she does to avoid failure. There is respect for being resourceful and finishing strong. But “avoiding failure at all costs” means you aren’t really going for it; you’re focused on saving face and doing enough to avoid being classified a failure.
I heard someone say, “I don’t like to fail. I avoid it at all costs.” I smiled and nodded, but inside, this shocked me.
Think about that. Living your life determined not to fail. That’s some glass half empty stuff right there.
That’s when I realized that failure is one of the main reasons I love to watch surfing. These guys are not without egos, but at the same time, they are humble. Or they are humbled every time they get in the water. They fail at the hands of Mother Nature day in and day out. We don’t see every single fall, we don’t see every minute of the paddle out, or the endless duck dives while trying to recover from a wipeout. We see edited videos, but we also see enough of the hard parts because they are integral to surfing. Surfers put themselves in challenging positions and fail over and over just for the chance to get an amazing barrel or the “ride of their life.”
These athletic, accomplished, witty guys show upand fail often. Not only that, they keep showing up. Even the best surfers fail because if they didn’t, they would be playing it too safe to be successful. To be fair, the real pros make surfing look easy, no matter how many times they fall. Lest you be critical, check out an amateur surfer in comparison. Falling, and failing, is inherent.
Can you imagine the frustration of spending hours surfing and still not catch or surf the wave the way you envisioned or hoped? I'm sure you can, because we all dedicate ourselves to pursuits that don't pan out. All of the surfers have “redemption sessions,” and most of the time it has nothing to do with the world seeing them as a failure; it’s personal. It is about proving your abilities to yourself and doing better than you did the last time.
Repetition, practice, and a lot of failure lead to stronger outcomes the next time. This is true in surfing and in life. My wise Hawaiian husband knows this already, and he knows me well enough to ask the right questions-- even in the midst an episode of the Umbrella Academy and the news of a JJF Tour win. The next time you find yourself “avoiding failure at all costs,” lean in, embrace your inner surfer, and go for it. As Clint likes to say, "Failure is always an option."
